I knew being a working mama was not going to be easy. I knew that when we were considering starting a family, i knew that when we were trying to start a family, i knew this when I got pregnant, and I knew this when I was on my maternity leave. So in theory I should have been prepared. Not so much.
I completely underestimated exactly what it takes to maintain a healthy work/life balance when you have a little person waiting for you when you get off work. The long days at work feel longer. The weekends feel shorter.
While I was out on my maternity leave my partner at work left to accept another position within the company. The decision was made not to replace him so since that time it has just been me. At first it was just work as usual but lately I have felt so overwhelmed and like no matter what I do, it is an uphill battle. Last week I stayed at work until nearly 7 three nights in a row. BGT was still asleep when I would go to work and I would average about an hour a day with her. It was no fun, I'll tell you that.
Thursday after a really long day, a coworker stopped by my desk and said "don't stay too late and remember, you will have lots of jobs but you will only have your baby once." I know he and his wife have had fertility issues and it took me back to when we were right there. Since then it has been playing over and over in my mind. He is so right. We waited so long for our munchkin and it is not fair to her or me for that matter to spread my self that thin.
So now I am working on balance. I fear that it will always be a battle but I'll promise you this, I will not lose this one. She is too important to me and she's growing up way too fast.